Thursday, April 10, 2014

Wait. But Why?!

"An epic relationship begins with an epic friendship" - How to Pick a Life Partner, Wait But Why




After reading countless of so called relationship advices from sites like Elite Daily or Thought Catalog, I finally came across one article that struck the deepest chord within me. So deep in fact, that I could not stop thinking about it even after days reading about it. The message resonated so much with what I am experiencing right now, or rather the lesson that I am still trying grasp.

Breaking up is never easy. That is something that everyone who has been through it can tell you. You're suddenly left with a gap, a void, that you cannot really get used to. It's like a phantom itch that keeps bothering you, and you would do anything to make it go away. So you search for something to fill that void. You want that feeling back, of having someone close to you. You miss the feeling of familiarity. Which is why many people will end up with their exes back, or get in to another relationship soon after. Because you hate the feeling of being lonely.

Being alone is tough. We're are constantly being pounded with the idea that we should be with someone, that having a life partner is one of the ultimate goals in life. Every fragment in our society extolls the virtues of being with someone. Books do that, movies do that, the Social Development Board does that, even my Facebook newsfeed loves to remind me from time to time on what I am missing out. It seems that everyone is trying to sell the idea that if you are not romantically involved with someone at the moment, you are supposed to be sad. But is it?

As how Wait But Why briliantly puts it HERE, the answer may just be no. Yes, it may be true that couples may be on average happier than singles, but that doesn't mean that a relationship alone is guaranteed to make you happy. The more important factor is of course, who you are with.

I've been immature once. I may be still immature now, but not as bad as last time, but yeah. There was once where I thought being in a relationship would be the apex of my life. So I eagerly rushed into a few without being really ready at the concept of love. I just wanted to be in love. Heck, even a few months ago I was still caught in that small delusional belief. Although I have been told again and again, even reminding myself too at times that one should never get into a relationship because of this idea you have about love, I was still eagerly searching for a relationship, even hoping for one. In fact, I was absolutely terrified of the idea of being lonely.

Funny how it takes an online article to slap it across your face.

And if there is anything that I have learned in the past one year, is that a friendship can tell you a lot of things about someone. I think all of us guys have this fear of this friendzone concept, but it is during the friendship stage that you will learn most about someone. You'll learn about the person's interest, the person's worldview, his/her morality, what the person wants in life and a whole load more of questions. And it's those attributes that would determine how far you can go with the person in life, not how good the person look. Biology is a bitch at screwing us up like that.

So I'll wait. Because all good things are worth waiting. It will be tough and difficult, given how there is this constant pressure to find someone, but I think the commitment that one is willing to put into waiting is reflective of how much one is willing to put in a serious relationship.


ShareThis

Related Posts with Thumbnails