Thursday, July 24, 2014

I need to, but ohh, a butterfly!



I need to write. But somehow, I just cannot seem to do it. Words seemed pour out from my finge, chalking up the word count as I go, but I am not satisfied. The words felt empty. Like a body without a soul. It felt as if I am not writing anything at all. The words were supposed to make a sentence, and the sentences strung  a story, but somehow, they just seem disjointed and all out of place. Like a car almost out of fuel, spluttering along before giving one last puff and dies.

I am not really writing. I am merely vomiting out words for the sake of words. The words have no meaning, they do not point to anywhere, there’s no grand conclusion or significant plot twist to them. Perhaps the inevitable has finally occurred. That writing has finally become a routine for me. A work that I need to do. Work. Writing, instead of a hobby, has become work. 

I sat staring at the screen, thinking of all the things I could write. A grand story about love, ideals and sacrifice. A tale of an adventure of a lifetime. But somehow, the more I think about it, the harder for me to sustain a story. There are many grand openings that float in my head, stories that start off with a bang, but there were no end in sight for them. I have so many ideas to start so many things, but somehow I have not the slightest clue of how to end them. Like a plot twist, a lesson that I want to teach. But I have none. So all them have a head, but not a tail.

Maybe because my past stories have been a reflection of my story, instead of just a random story that I try to conjure out from nowhere. Those stories had a soul to it. But ain’t writers supposed to be great storytellers as well, crafting out stories that pull you in to the world that the authors created?

Or maybe it's just me. I always start stuff, but I can never seem to finish them. I tend to lose interest halfway in the projects that I start, distracted by other things that appear in life. And that bad habit tend to get reflected here as well.

Maybe it's time to tie myself to the chair, and force some none existent motivation to come into place. To force myself to stay focused, and stick to my goal to the very end.

Or maybe it's time to get myself diagnosed with ADHD.


Tuesday, July 22, 2014

My Damsel In Distress

She's the heir to her father's multi-mullion dollar company. But her relatives, seizing upon the opportunity that her father passed away, tried to coerce her into a marriage she did not want, in order to obtain her father's wealth. When she did not bow down, they sent assassins after her, from which she barely escaped. Now fearing for her life, she has reached out to a random person halfway around the globe for help. The story sounds almost like a plot out of an action movie, but it is not. It was indeed from a real girl trapped with nowhere to go, hoping for a kind soul to liberate her.

Luckily, she found me.


her plea for help 


As someone who believes sincerely in helping others, I could not sit idly by and let he greedy relatives take her. Of course I should save her. And so I eagerly typed out this reply.

OMG. Miss Murielle Yeo, I must thank the most benevolent for sparing your life. I mean assassins? That's like the worst thing that family members can do to each other. You must have either been highly trained in the skills of escaping or the assassins must have been really bad at their job, but it is very fortunate for you to have escape from the clutches of death and prevented those stinking relative of yours from taking your father's hard earned money. I too, once had to escape assassins sent to kill me because the rival mafia family was jealous of my dashing good looks, but I am afraid that would be a story for another, once you're happily married in my arms, because the concern as of now is to get you to safety.

Fear not, because you have just come to the correct person. My family runs the the largest underground triad family in Singapore, with professional kungfu bodyguards under our services, and I would be more than happy to assist a damsel in distress. 20 years old is indeed too young to be married to a 71 year old haggard, and you deserve every right to be free. I still remember that back when I was 20, I was still busy training under Ra's al Ghul that would lead me to become who I am today. Keep your money, Miss Murielle, because I am doing this out of my heart's favor. I believe in universal freedom and justice, and I will do the utmost that I can to uphold those values. Do let me know what I can help with, and I would gladly do so.

I could only hope that the assassins would not get to her first before I manage to save her.


Sunday, July 20, 2014

Principles. Ideals. 原则

"I will never forsake my my friends for my work. We must all hang out when we graduate okay?"

"I will never have pre-marital sex. I will only give it to my husband/wife after I get married."

"I will never allow money to become my priority in life."

"I will never cheat in a relationship."

"I believe in justice for all, and I will love everyone irregardless of their background."

"I will never ever smoke, because it's bad."

"Gambling only will cause miser, and I will never do that."




Principles. Ideals. 原则. I grew up believing in them. I grew up listening to people saying that they believe in them. And I believed that those people believe in them. I believed that ideals, principles and beliefs are noble, in that they make people who practiced them better persons. I believed that you need to have ideals and principles in life to be a better person. And that having 原则 will ultimately lead to a better life.

One thing about growing up is that you will find out that the things that you believe in do not always turn out to be what you expected them to be. I've seen those who succeeded the most often are often those without ideals, those who are willing to cheat, rob and steal, while those who lives by them are often persecuted and bullied. I've seen countless people who go back on their principles, doing the things that they say that they wound't do, and in the end justifying those actions with some lame reasons.

In a way, I stopped believing in principles and ideals. Believing in a set of unwritten code of conduct wouldn't get you anywhere, it would only get you behind. It would make you lose out in comparison to those who do not have your set of ideals. Unwilling to be corrupt? Those who are willing to be will get away with projects or lighter punishments, while you have to suffer. Don't want to cheat? Those who cheat enjoy the benefits more, as compared to you struggling to make an honest living.

We tell ourselves that there is karma, that those who go against a set of ideals will ultimately get their "punishment" in life. Or that we will be rewarded one way or another when we die? Maybe. Perhaps. That those who stick to their principles might turn out better in life, or have a giant plaque handed to them in heaven, but we never know. No one will ever know. Somehow we just have to believe in that idea.

So have why have ideals anyway? Why strive to stick to principles? I don't know. Perhaps it is to keep society from descending to utter chaos. That you give the masses an illusion to believe in when they have nothing else. Perhaps ideals serve as a placate for you when you don't get as much as the guy next to you.

Can't get the multi million dollar contract? Friends having much more fun sleeping around than you? Got fried from your job because you refuse to cheat? That's okay. Because at least you stuck to your ideals. Right? That's how we console ourselves. To say that everything is alright when things don't turn out according to what your ideals say.

Others, on the other hand, do break our principles. When the temptation and the stakes are high. And at the end of the day, you cook up a reason for yourself in breaking what you believed in. Cognitive dissonance, as how they call it. Once you loudly proclaimed against doing X, but now, you say that X may not be so bad either. Smoking, drugs, clubbing, sleeping around, cheating. All of them have their reasons now, despite how strongly you believed against them in the past. I've seen too many people who have done this.

At the end of the day, I stopped believing in ideals, principles and 原则 a long time ago, because by the end of the day, once you have crossed it, the world doesn't end. You just create a reason for yourself and move on. Because that's life. And it's not governed by a set of unwritten beliefs.


Game Master Lukey Reporting for Duty: My First DnD Adventure

"You enter the cantina, still exhausted from the short dash between your ship and the place where the Bartender was rumored to be. As you survey the dimly lit bar, you saw scantily dressed Twi'lek dancing on the stage, while being oogled upon by the shady looking patrons of the bar. The bartender lazily wipes the surface of the counter, while throwing you a bored stare. Above you, heavy metal bars line the ceiling, while a few ropes hang down from you. Behind the bartender stood a half ajar door that reads "Staff Only", while a curtain blocked path lies next to the stage.

As you decide on what to do, you hear heavy footsteps approaching. Gamorrean thugs! You have only moments to decide your next course action before they barge in the entrance. What would you do?"

And that was the opening sentence that catapulted me into a dizzying game of Dungeon and Dragons ala Star Wars style game today.


starting our Edge of Empire adventure


Ever since finishing Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep, one of Borderlands 2 DLC, I have always wanted to try the good ol' DnD board games for myself. The ones that the guys from Big Bang Theory play, and the kind of game where you usually associate with nerds and geeks.

However, being someone who is used to fixed rules and routines of games, the sudden reign of freedom was initially overwhelming for me. Instead following a fixed set of path and happenings, literally anything can happen. And the choices the players can make is unlimited. Just like the real world and even better than any of the video games. You can make a meteor fall out from the sky if you wanted to. The only limit is your imagination. And your set of dices

It was pretty fun though, being the game master, because I could basically set the entire tone of the story and how the story progresses. Of course, coming up with situations and outcomes to each of the player's choices was intimidating and required a lot of on the ball improvisation. There was once during an encounter with security droids that one of the players, who also happened to be a droid, wanted to hack the security droid by inserting his "USB dongle" into them. And I had to determine how that would turn out. Which somehow ended with the Wookie holding the two droids on the floor while the player droid "inserted" virus into them.

Think we may perhaps created the first droid rape encounter in the board game universe

But nevertheless, I immensely enjoyed the game. While the mechanics are still kind of confusing, because it encompasses almost everything that you would normally see in a RPG game, from items to skills to leveling up, it is the simple complexity that makes it so wonderful to play And you could change the story every time to add to the replay value. We're still far from trying out everything in the game yet, but so far, the first try was actually quite enjoyable. Star Wars: Edge of Empire, The Beginners Game is something that you may want to consider if you're looking to try out the DnD board game universe.

And I think I just signed up for the geek culture.


Saturday, July 19, 2014

Moments in Time I Knew I had become a Gaming Addict



For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a gamer. The first console we had growing up was an Atari 2600. Unfortunately, the only game we had for the system was the now infamous E.T. (yuck!). It wasn’t until years later when we got an NES that I really started to get into gaming.

Since that first console I’ve owned just about all the major systems. My backlog of games are hitting that point where I begin to question if I really love playing games or I just love the idea of games. Often times I find myself reading the industry news or watching speedruns rather than being actually in the game, playing it.

All these little moments have added to my growing addiction to this wonderful thing we call gaming.

I want to share with you a few of those special moments that immediately had me hooked (for better or worse). The moments where I knew gaming was going to be a major part of my life. Maybe some of these are ones you’ve experienced in the same? Let’s get started …

1. Taking up a not-so-traditional instrument

I tried my hand at a lot of instruments growing up like the piano and guitar. None of them really stuck because the music I was learning always felt too lame.

Then Ocarina of Time came out and upon hearing the ocarina for the first time I knew I wanted to give it a try. It wasn’t until a few years later that I was finally able to learn how to play the ocarina.

I did some research and found a cool company, SongBirdOcarina, which makes and sells replicas. It was neat, too, that they had a guide on how to play the ocarina, which let me get right into it (it took me a bit but eventually it caught on).

I don’t get to whip out the ocarina as often as I’d like but it does come in handy whenever I go to video game conventions. It also gets some good responses when you’re in voice chat with guild mates and you suddenly start playing some tunes from OOT.

This is one of those examples that gaming really got the best of me; I knew I was getting a liiittle addicted to the Zelda series at that point.

2. Getting real hyped about clubbing (because they had Mario)

During the prime of my clubbing days (before I started to get burnt out) I was going out Thursday through Sunday catching some of my favorite DJs and meeting up with my party people.

Out of all those different times going out clubbing there are two that have seared their experiences into my head:

Hoing to a video games night at the local industrial club, which required everyone to show up as one of their favorite video game characters (I went as Tanooki Mario). What made the night great was the gigantic 120-inch screen they had running Super Mario 3. Instead of, you know, going around being social and listening to music I was glued to the controller for the entirety of the night.

I was in Berlin on vacation, checking out one of the smaller, off-beat clubs and low-and-behold there was a lounge area in the back that had a projector setup along with a SNES and a copy of Super Mario World. Again, I was glued to the game rather than getting shoved around trying to stay on the dance floor.

It made me realize just how much I loved gaming that I’d forgo the whole clubbing thing in place of playing some of my favorite games, with other fanatics, in the weirdest environment.

3. Battle scars and broken friendships a la N64

Gaming doesn’t always leave you with an impression you reflect fondly of through memories.

Sometimes they leave battle scars!

I still have marks from playing the Shy Guy game in Mario Party 1 where you had to rotate the stick in order for him to fly around the room (that lead to some real nasty blisters).

I have a chipped tooth after getting into a physical fight with my best friend after a serious game of Madden.

I still have to occasionally apologize to my friends about the night we decided to play a ton of 4-player games which lead to an hour long shout-fest, some real nasty words, a bit of pushing, and a week long hiatus from everyone talking to one another.

Basically – we let the games go too far but now, being able to reflect on those times, it’s actually quite hilarious and adds to the overall love and addiction for gaming.

And the game has only just begun …

I’m about to hit 20 years of gaming and I have to honestly say it’s been a wild ride. Going from basic 2D graphics to the prospect of using VR thanks to Oculus is simply mind blowing. I knew the first time I laid my hands on a controller I would forever have love for this entertainment.

I may forget some of the games I’ve played over the years but nothing will make me forget the crazy, unforgettable experiences and lifestyle changes video gaming has brought me.

What about you? Do you have any particular moments in gaming where you knew it was more than just a game?


Post written by Michelle Peterman


Thursday, July 17, 2014

[PN] Crime Rate Soars As People Waits For Their Radio Interview



KUALA LUMPUR, 17 Jan - The whole of Malaysia came to a standstill today when Malaysians realized that the easiest way to score yourself a radio station interview is to be (in)famous. Armed with steering locks and smartphone cameras, people were bashing at cars and other public properties, in hope that their videos would go viral as well. This move came in response to the recent interview conducted by Hitz.fm, Fly.fm, My.fm and Era.fm of Kiki Kamaruddin, who became an overnight sensation when a video of her verbally abusing an old man and hitting his car with a steering lock was posted online.

Lock Steer Ling, one of the thousands of Malaysians who were seen busy bashing up an unsuspecting family's car while her friend filmed her nearby, had this this to say, "I have always tried calling the radio station and going for audition in hopes of appearing on my favorite radio station, but I always get rejected. If I had known that acting like a hooligan would score me an instant interview with not one, but FOUR radio stations, I would have so done this a long time ago. Now I feel stupid for apologizing the last time I got into an accident."

However, most radio stations, surprised with the response that they're getting, said that they are already planning to move in  new direction in order to increase their viewership.

"Unfortunately most of our interview slots now are full for steering lock brandishing ladies, and with so many other radio stations doing it, we are thinking of moving forward," said one Hitz.fm spokesman.

"In order to make our radio station the most hit and trendy one, we are thinking of coming up with a whole new series called the "Hit Series", where we will feature people who hit their kids, hit their spouses, hit their pets and hit anything else. Then we will act as the mediator and get them to say sorry on air, hopefully making our listeners touched with their stories," the Hitz.fm spokesman added, in elaborating the "Hit Series".

In response, Malaysians are already resorting to other crimes such as vandalism, public property abuse and loudly arguing in public, in hopes that some radio station will decide to report their story.

*****

On a more serious note, at the time of writing this post, the radio stations have yet to come up with an official statement in regards to the netizens response about their interview, choosing to remain silent over the whole issue. It has been more than 12 hours since netizens have been in uproar over the incident, but all of the radio stations Facebook page have yet to respond to netizens' general unhappiness. Instead they're just posting usually like nobody's business, ignoring all the tons of negative comments. Fly.fm even has the tendency to attempt to trend the hashtag #ForgiveKiki. What's there to forgive, now that you've made her even more famous?


hitz.fm apparently has chosen to turn a blind eye to all the barrage of negative comments


fly.fm's latest post


I don't know about you, but I find their PR skills to be sadly lacking in response to this matter. Maybe they were caught off guard by the host of negative response, but this ignoring them clearly isn't the way to handle such a situation. One cannot simply ignore the negative comments and hope that people will forget. The lack of response makes people think that you're not caring enough and worse still, your whole attempt at marketing may backfire badly on your company.

But of course, this is not the first time a company in Malaysia has struck the wrong chord with netizens over the social media though, there are numerous other examples, but I am interested to see how the radio stations would react in response to this crisis. And the company that walked away smiling from this entire thing would be DiGi I guess, with their quick response in offering help to the uncle.


DiGi's full of win response


Social media marketing is one tricky business, in that you can never gauge the response of netizens, but if shit does happen, there should a crisis response team to deal with the backlash, because after all, the people are your customers. In terms of social media response, I still find Malaysia's major companies PR team to be lacking in comparison with their Singapore counterparts, especially in light of negative responses.


Le Peugeot

Whew. Gonna be a short post before I head off to sleep.

It's amazing how social media have changed how we should we our actions nowadays, considering the fact that everyone has smartphones now where they can instantaneously take a photo/video of you, craft any caption and upload to they web for the world to see.

Take the recent case of the Kuantan road bully for example, or the lady driver with the CDM 25 white Peugeot. What seemed to be a normal case of road rage quickly spiraled out of control into a collective social media bashing, where netizens banded together to degrade the woman publicly, exposing her name, work and private details of her life.

While I won't argue that what she did was correct, I cannot help but wonder if what we did was wrong, or whether she deserved such a harsh punishment? Or whether social media is perpetuating this sort of kangaroo court of the internet, where we decide whether an action is right or wrong, and met out a punishment (which in this case is a complete boycott of her business and sharing of her personal details), all in a blink an eye?

I think that a line needs to be drawn somewhere in regards to this. I don't deny that the constant possibility of our actions being uploaded online will somehow force us to be more civil and cautious of our action when we are outside, but the bigger question I guess is when do we stop? 

The lady in the video has already come online and pleaded for netizens to leave her life alone, but judging from the replies, the netizens haven't really get enough of talking about the issues yet. There were people who were commenting about how race and religion factors in, about the uncle and even the marketing folks at DiGi did an absolutely awesome PR campaign by capitalizing on the issue. The thing is the issue is still fresh, so like it or not, the lady in the video will still receive a lot of unwanted action in the meantime. I guess that's the price to pay for losing your cool in public nowadays.

The good news is that she's no the first one who is shamed publicly online. Experience shows that sooner or later, people will forget about this issue and move on, the question is that whether she can survive this intense barrage of attention for this short period of time.

But then again, I don't condone people who issues threat or people who go to her Facebook profile and drop her all the vulgar and crazy messages. I mean, who gave you the moral high ground to become a vigilante or a keyboard warrior. Such hypocrisy. Tsk. 

I think one lesson that we should learn from this video, is the importance of being kind and patient in everyday lives, instead of getting all flared up with your self-righteousness. The lessons taught by our parents are sensible after all, in that being able to forget and forgive will help us go a looong way. 

So the next time you wanna explode in public, count to 10 or make sure no one is recording.


Monday, July 14, 2014

Memoire No Hogosha #7

Previous Chapter

*****

Joshua could feel the chill of the murky water against his skin as he slowly swam across the Tebrau Straits. The moon cast a gloomy light upon the water's surface, while random pieces of trash floated past Joshua occasionally. In the distance, the lights from several boats stood out against the dark. Some of them were small and fast, others bigger and lumbering slowly across the water. Further still, Joshua could see the outline of the causeway that connected Johor and Singapore.

Why on earth did he chose to swim, he did not know. Neither did he understood where his swimming ability came from.

The last part of the old man's conversation lingered in his mind, as he slowly splashed across the water. The sound of his body making contact with the water calmed him. The Non-Interference Agreement, the old man said. The defining moment in the battle between good and evil. Where the evil chose to openly manipulate the memories of humans, violating a previously agreed upon rule. That both sides could only indirectly promote their agenda without affecting what goes in the mind.

Joshua has always known about this phenomena called false memories. That our memories are not perfect, and with the correct techniques, people can create memories in your mind that you never have before. His psychologist friend, one of the top researchers in the field, told him that. Of how adults, when asked the correct questions, could form memories of childhood abuses that never happened before, sparking off some of the most well known court cases in history.

But what Joshua didn't knew was that the Deleos had already perfected the art of memory implantation long before the first case of false memory syndrome was publicly discovered in 1986. Instead of merely asking leading questions and making suggestive comments, like how the publicly known cases came about, the Deleos were able to enter a victim's mind and implant a memory directly through a device that they created.

"Seeing how unfair the balance had become, the Almighty decided to intervene for the first time, after more than a thousand years of silence," the old man explained, as he extended his hands. His palm curled into a fist, as if he was holding something. As Joshua looked on curiously, ice crystals began to gather on top of the old man's fist, being drawn from all over their surroundings. Joshua could feel the wind picking as the old man's fist acted like a magnet, drawing in the ice from their surrounding. The ice crystals gathered above the old man's fist, forming the outline of a sword, as they began to rotate faster and faster, still drawing in the ice crystals from all around them.

Joshua struggled to keep his eyes open and his feet on the ground all while this was happening, feeling as if he was caught in a terrible storm. And in the midst of all the wind, snow and cold, the old man stood still like a statue, his arms still in front of him, his eyes focused on the sword that was forming in front of him.

Just as Joshua felt that he was going to be sucked in by the sword, a bright flash of light burst forth from the old man, followed by what felt to Joshua like a sonic boom. When he finally regained his composure, Joshua saw a magnificent sword held by the old man, unlike any sword that he has seen before. The blade were white in colour, carved with intricate drawings along the edge, which seemed to Joshua like flowers. Ice crystals seemed to emanate from the blade itself, giving off a whitish glow from it.

"Wow," was all Joshua managed to mutter, finding himself loss in words to describe the sword.

"Glacialis. One of Almighty's gift," the old man said, his voice filled with awe as well. "And now it decided to choose you."

Joshua coughed and sputtered as he climbed on top of the ground that belonged to Singapore, still surprised at how he managed to swim across the channel without getting caught by any border guard. Just as he was about to lie down on his back, a woman's voice broke through the silence of the night, startling Joshua.

"So you are the one who is the successor to Glacialis huh?"

*****

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Things That I Wished Would Happen On A Sunday Night



Sunday nights are always hard, because it signifies the end of yet another weekend, and heralds the beginning of yet another week of work. Which is why I often daydream that something extraordinary would happen on a Sunday night (am I the only one?), something like these:

1. A letter arrives from Hogwarts, with the barrage of owls that accompany it, telling me that I have been accepted into the graduate program of Witchcraft and Wizarding Psychology, asking me to report to Platform 3/4 tomorrow at the Jurong East MRT station.




2. My face father appears, telling me that, "Luke, I am your father," where instead of screaming no, I would go "Yessssss!!!" before getting wooshed to learn the secrets of the force, and becoming Luke the Handsomewalker. Where I walk handsomely

3. The world is suddenly attacked by broccoli aliens, and to stop the invasion, each and every human being is forced to accept our biggest fear in life: broccoli eating.




4. A zombie apocalypse happens, where a sudden viral infection unleashes a horde of zombies into the streets. Caught completely unprepared, we are forced to bunker down and to survive, while society crumbles around us.

5. A lightning zaps directly into my room and hits me, giving me extraordinary powers of electricity. Realizing that with great power comes I great responsibility, I take up the name of the New Zeus, fighting crime and making a lot of hot girls fall in love with me at the same time.

6. A time space anomaly forces me to relive Sunday over and over again, until I find a solution out of it, which I won't, because I just hate Monday so much. Maybe after I have mastered 16 languages, learned how to play the piano and guitar, and became an expert in engineering.

7. All our environment damaging actions finally caught up to us, as a tsunami sweeps across Singapore, and major disasters are reported worldwide. I would probably die though, since I have no idea on how to swim.




But of course, none of this seem to be happening right now as the clock ticks past 12, so I guess I have no chance but to go to sleep. And face yet another Monday again tomorrow.


Sunday, July 13, 2014

Do you still miss her?

Image source: Shutterstock


"Do you still miss her?" she asked me, her brown eyes staring curiously at me. I knew that the moment she asked about my first love, she would eventually ask me this question. All of of us do. Somehow, it seems that we have this nagging feeling of wanting to know more whenever someone we know talks about their ex. But in this case it was different. She's my girlfriend, and it has been three years since we last got together. Why she chose to ask this question now I had no idea, perhaps it was because we never talked in depth about this topic before, and today was the first time where I really shared the details of my first relationship with her. A relationship that lasted almost a decade.

I suppose that with her being the second girl in my life, it is natural for her to have some feelings of insecurity. After all, who won't. Ten years is a long time to be with someone, and like it or not, that ten years would definitely have an impact on your life. I suppose that this is a good time as any to finally answer the question that has been lingering in my girlfriend's mind.

I heaved a sigh as I gave my answer, looking back directly into her eyes. 

"Yes, I still do sometimes," I admitted, an answer that I knew would disappoint her, which it did. She slumped back after hearing my answer, her smile disappearing into a frown, and her brown eyes turning to look somewhere else. Of course she was sad. After all, I was already with her, so I could I still miss someone else who is no longer in my life? Do I really love her then, if that's the case? I was more than certain  that doubts and questions were beginning to pop up on her mind, but what she may be thinking was not what I was feeling or what I had in mind.

My hand reached out for hers, in an attempt to reassure her. She wanted to pull her hands away in response when our skin touched, but my fingers quickly grip hers, unwilling to let go.

"I may still miss her occasionally, but I no longer love her," I said, this time my turn to stare at her. I tightened my grip our fingers. Taking a deep breath in, I begin my feeble attempt to explain.

"The reason I wanted to tell you this is because I wanted to be honest with you. I did not want to just bluff you by saying that I only think about you now, because that would only be a sweet lie and not the truth. Lies I can tell anyone, but to you, I just want you to know the truth.

In all honesty, I don't think you could easily forget someone who has been an important part of your life for almost a decade. She was there when I graduated from high school, when I entered into university, when my mother passed away, and when I first started my working life. When I was the most uncertain during that period of my life, she was there to support me. She cheered me on, encouraged me. Try as one might, the role that she played during that time could not be changed or denied. A big part of my life was changed during that period of time, and a huge chunk came from her.

In a way, you could say that I miss the story that we once shared. It's more of a nostalgic feeling, rather than one that wants her back in my life. If anything, I was grateful for what happened then. It shaped me into who I am today, and even though we are no longer together, the legacy of the story remains. My love for Korean food, for books and my dislike for jeans were all a product of that story. Like it or not, they have become a part of my story, and even if I try to forget or deny that it happened, the words of the story are already inscribed on my heart.

But of course, that story has ended. The final page has been written, and the cover closed. No matter how many time I try to reread the story again, it will remain just that: a product of the past. In its place, a new story is being written. A story that involves you. And unlike the previous story, I am still writing this story with you. We could still fill and craft this story in any way we want, and perhaps we could never let it end as well. I have made a choice to commit to this story the moment I decided to be together with you, and hopefully as time passes, the legacy of this new story would eclipse the legacy of the old story, ending with a happily ever after. There may always be a mark from the previous story in my heart, but who I am loving now is you and only you. She may have left a mark, but is is you who fills my heart currently

My question now is this, would you then be willing to continue writing this story with me?"

There was a brief moment of silenced after I had finished my sentence, before she turned to look at me again. My heart pounded so fast as if I thought I was having a heart attack, as I waited for her response. I could only wonder what it would be.


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