Monday, July 25, 2011

Hate Letter To Me

Every successful person has his/her own bunch of haters. You know, people who would just criticize you  no matter what you do for no obvious reasons. It's as if you owed them something in the past life or killed their whole family. And it almost seems like that if you want to be considered successful in our world, you've gotta be hated first. It's a criteria that you must fulfill.

Take Mother Teressa, Mahatma Gandhi or Martin Luther King for example. There's no disagreement that they are one of the most prominent peace figures of all time but yet they are still hated by so many during their time. So I guess if you wanna be successful, you cannot run away from haters.


Which is why it's quite worrying for me. Because for all my talk about being handsome, famous, successful blogger and stuff like that, I've not actually receive any hate comments or emails yet. A surprising thing considering that self praise is the fastest way to being hated. Just look at Steven Lim and you'll understand.

So I guess that the absence of hate comments or hate emails directed to me could only mean one thing, that I am in fact still nowhere near my dream of becoming a famous successful blogger yet :(

But that's alright, because I figured out that since no one wrote a hate letter to me yet, I will be the first one! Someone need to start the ball rolling, right? And after this hate letter, I can officially say that I'm one step closer to my dream no that I have fulfilled one of the criteria to be famous.

Ahem, and so here's how I envisioned how my hate letter would look like if I have one:

"Dear Lukey,

          I've been reading your blog for quite sometime now and honestly, I think your blog sucks. No specific reason for that actually. I just think that you look funny with your glasses and all and I bet you have done plastic surgery before to your nose like every blogger in Singapore does. I mean, how can you get a nose like that anyway? That must be cheating.

          And also, what's up with you and handsome anyway? Your blog name has handsome, your header has handsome and your blog posts has handsome everywhere. Sorry to say this but honestly, you're nowhere near handsome. In fact, you look hideous. More hideous than Shrek, the Lochness Monster and Godzilla combined. Even parents would tell their children that if they're naughty, you would come eat them up at night.

          Also, why do your feeds keep appearing in my Facebook news feed anyway? Don't you know it's abit annoying that I have to see your blog updates on my news feed everyday? It pains my eye, you know? And people don't need you to shovel up your blog into their noses. Maybe if you have a size 32D, look like Angelina Jolie and post sexy pictures to your blog every time. But your not. So stop updating your blog to your Facebook. No one reads it.

          And please, get a life other than just updating your blog every day. Don't you have something else to do like smelling the flowers, clubbing or socializing? What are you doing in front of the computer all day, updating your blog as if many people reads it? It just proves that you're a nerd with no life, no friends and only know how to sit in front of the computer with your idiotic thick Harry Potter glasses. And yes I hate Harry Potter too.

          Oh, and you're a retard.

Sincerely,
A better blogger than Lukey"


Wow, maybe it's a good thing after all that I don't get haters often. Because if someone were to write that to me, you would see me taking a jump from the highest floor of my hostel already. And bloggers like Xiaxue just got my renewed respect.

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