Saturday, July 23, 2011

I have a son!

Today was a very peculiar day for me. Not because of the extremely cold weather now or the fact I swam in a swimming pool under pouring rain, but rather because of a Facebook wall post that was lying conveniently on my wall when I checked it. It was from a secondary school friend of mine that I've lost contact many years ago when I ended my O-Levels/SPM. It read:

As this post suggests, I already did

Like how any guy who has no girlfriend for the past one year would react, I thought this was some kind of joke. After all, what better way to reconnect with your old secondary school friend than to ask whether he have a child already? You never know right?

But something tells me that it wasn't just simply a joke. Further digging into my friend's profile revealed this conversation he had with another secondary school friend of mine:

I think I need to find out too lol

And another more interesting conversation:

The "he/him" in the conversation refers to yours faithfully handsome blogger here

 Apparently, it was about my mum telling my friend's mum who then told it to my friend who told it to another friend who then told it to this friend who then came asking me about it. So in a sense, it's my mum who said that I have a kid.

Of course, instead of being scared, I find it funny instead. Because believe it or not, even after three ex-girlfriends, this guy here is still pretty much a guy who has never gone to the fourth base, heck even third base before in his relationship.

Which is a good thing actually, because if I happened to have sex before, I would surely panic because we all know that no matter what precautionary measures we take (except sterilization), there's still a chance accidents might happen. I guess that's why parents keep on reminding us kids to not have sex before marriage and just stick to only one partner because you never know when a kid would suddenly show up and call you mum or dad like how they do in movies. And having an extra kid popping up isn't exactly the best thing that can happen in life, mind you.

So yeap, it's a false alarm. There's no way I could impregnate anyone when I didn't even get to undress a girl before, which is quite sad if it's true. Normally it's the process (sex) that's most enjoyable right as compared to the end product (baby). Surely if I want a kid I would at least enjoy the process of getting it, wouldn't I?

However, you cannot deny that I am feeling a bit curious about how the entire rumor got started. Who started it? What is his/her motive? What does he/she hopes to gain through this rumor? I guess I can never really know unless I dig real deep.

Or maybe it's like all those Chinese drama where a girl lies that she is pregnant just to be with the guy that she loves. Maybe a girl secretly likes me and so she fake up a story of how I got drunk and ahem her and she ended up with my baby and now she must marry me because the baby is mine. I'm not complaining if it's true though, because this is the sure fastest way of getting me a girlfriend without having to go through the painful process of chasing her.

But either way, I guess this serves as a very good lesson, especially and particularly to guys on not to simply have pre-marital sex with any girl. Because you never know when this kind of shit will happen on you. And it's much harder to know whether that kid is yours if you really had sex before. As for me, I think my resolution to not engage in pre-marital sex just got a really big boost.

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