And I'm socially awkward

"Be confident, and just say what you want to say!", people used to tell me whenever I say I have absolutely no courage to be stuck in a situation with strangers. And believe me when I said I've tried. I've tried to ditch all the doubts I had, put on a really big smile and just dove right in. And emerged from there with a lot of awkward stares.

So naturally I learned to stop trying. Because after so many experiences, you know where's your limit at. While people can freely make conversations out of thin air, I need time. To get to know who I am talking to, to slowly let go of myself and to talk more freely. Which is why I took up blogging in the first place. And video editing work too. Because it requires me to be behind the scenes.

But like they say, the world is not made up for introverts and even in the blogging world, one has to constantly socialize and talk to people. So if you think all bloggers do is just sitting behind computers typing out their feelings all day, you're wrong. Because to be a successful blogger, you need to go out, you need to pass your namecard to people, you need to be seen. That is one big leap of the the comfort zone that I've yet to take.

Perhaps I just need to stop hiding and just jump into it. Besides, what could possibly go wrong? At most I'll just be the next Steven Lim. Obnoxious but still famous. And at least a little bit more handsome. I guess I can try tomorrow when I'm one of the group leaders for my halls orientation. 

They say to keep repeating positive thoughts to yourself to make you feel more confident when talking to strangers. I guess I can go repeating, "I am handsome, I am handsome, I am handsome, I am handsome, Luke is handsome, Luke can talk a lot and. blep~"


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