Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Ways To Screw Up Your Blog, Lukey Style

 I have not been able to update my blog as frequently as I used to lately, if you'd noticed. Even if I do update my blog, it would be only for the sake of updating and nothing else, which explains why viewership of my blog has dropped drastically to a state where if my blog was a restaurant, I would just sit down and swat flies all day.


 And while my blog is slowly dying, I thought why not write a guide out of it, you know, on how to kill your blog slowly, Lukey style. Just in case someone decided that it is not worth letting their blog live anymore and would like it do die a natural death but can't bring themselves to ignore the blog totally. So here's a guide to screw up your blog, courtesy of the handsome Lukey blogger (although I have been forsaking my blog, I'm still handsome) learned from the past few weeks of mine.

1. Play an online game. Not just any online game but an online game that will get you addicted to it. And in my case, happens to be a game called Forsaken World, where everything is forsaken, your blog especially, because you're too busy trying to level up and trying to be the strongest in the world.

Hi, I'm Lukey, oh wait, I'm ChiChibi actually, because this is my Forsaken World persona

You see, the thing about online games is that there's always another level to catch, another quest to do which in turn, means that you'll be constantly trying to reach that target of yours (which only increases by time) and not having time for anything. Add in a little peer pressure from other players (in fact there's thousands of them in the server) and soon you'll be saying things like, "After this quest" and "Let me finish this mission first" when it comes to doing real life things, like blogging.

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2. Have a boring life. Contrary to popular belief, most bloggers don't blog because they have a boring life. They blog because they have a really colourful life that they want to share with the world, which is why having a rather dull life is another way to kill off your blog. Because you really have nothing to write anyway.

You could write about how boring your life can be, though, but I suspect that after reading for the 100th time of you complaining about how bored you are in your blog, readers will come to associate your blog with being boring too. Of course, you could choose not to update anything at all when you have nothing happening in your life, but then again it would still translate to the same thing. Readers finding your blog boring.


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3. Have an over-exciting life. But that that also doesn't mean that you should have an over exciting life until you have to energy or time to blog.

Me, for example, out of every possible thing to do during a summer vacation, chose to be a head over the orientation committee in my hall and before I have the time to regret, I have been swamped over with loads of responsibilities and expectations from both my superiors and my colleagues. For the first time in my life I worrying about budgets, liaising with people, planning events, dealing with red tapes and doing all sorts of things that is expected of a head and by the end of the day, I have no time to care about my blog.

Even if I do want to care, I'd be too exhausted by then and would just simply come out with a post to survive the day. So I guess a balance between keeping your life interesting but not too interesting is the key.

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4. Get not enough sleep. Because when you have not enough sleep, whenever you sit in front of the computer wanting to blog, all you can think of is the comfy bed next to you. And even if you managed to get your fingers typing, you'll find out after 5 minutes that their actually moving on their own giving out scrambled words while your mind is already snoozing away.

You know, like those boring lessons in school where you start writing down un-readable words for your notes when you're sleepy? That's what happened to me when I tried blogging with not enough sleep. Something like "I wasd tyrihgn tpo bligpo" happened to me. And if you're sleepy enough, your fingers would go and click post without you really noticing and your readers would be wondering why you're suddenly writing Martian. Luckily for me, I fell asleep before I had the chance to click post.

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Yeap, and that's the four main reasons why the quality my blog is sort of taking a roll downhill, I mean down the mountain, right now. Definitely not something that you should be doing if you want to be a popular online blogger. And a handsome one too.

I think I should slap myself everytime I fail to blog. Wait, that's stupid. Maybe I should ask a pretty girl to give me a kiss instead. Then I would have more incentive to blog and wirte a nice post. Anyone want to do the honors?

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