Monday, May 16, 2011

The Lukey Touchy Theory

Once upon a time ago, when I was still back in Malaysia, when the middle hair parting is still considered a norm, I was in this clique of friends in church. There were five of us, all of the same age. The only problem? Four of us were guys. Guys whom have almost no contact with girls in or out of school and with the church being our place where we can actually mix with girls. And the girl? She was hot and she was friendly. And definitely touchy. When she talked with you, she would poke you, lean on your shoulder and rub her hands against yours. And she did that to all four of us.

 Which comes to no surprise that eventually all four of us guys fell for her. I remembered it as being very funny because out of the four of us, two had a relationship with her before (sadly, I'm not one of them) and all four confessed to her before (and sadly, I'm one of them here). And there was this time when our brotherhood was almost on the verge of breaking due to our common feelings to the girl. It almost feel like a Korean drama itself.

But I guess things took a turn for the better because at the time of this post's writing, none of us are with her. The friendship did not last though, out of the four, two had since flew solo and it's only me and another buddy now who are still best friends. Of course, there's another buddy in my group, but he's not counted because he never shared the pentagon love experience.

The whole fiasco took place more than six years ago and lasted for more than years. Yes years.

By the time the dust settled, I came out with a new theory in my mind relating to the whole Korean pentagon incident. I have not found a name for the theory yet (because I kinda forgot about it after the whole experience and after I switched environment but I guess I need to now) but it goes something like this. According to my theory, the probability of a guy falling for a girl is directly proportionate to how friendly and touchy the girl is to the guy. The effect will be further multiplied if the guy's social circle is small. The less girls the guy know, the greater the effect of this theory.

 So according to this theory, for it is easier for a guy to fall for a girl who is really friendly and touchy than a girl who likes to distance herself away and act high class. Which explains why most popular girls are the ones that likes to mix with people and complement their mixing with lots of body contact.

The explanation behind this is simple, really. Most guys are sensitive to touch and when girls who touch us, it turns us on. For us, touch communicates a body language that indicates interest. Factor in the fact that most girls do not touch us so we're bound to feel special attraction to the girl that gives us special attention. Which explains why the theory effects is amplified for guys with small social circle.

It's because of the unique feeling that the girl gives. When you're used to being rejected and unnoticed, when someone suddenly gives you that special attention, we're no doubt drawn to her. It's how humans are programmed.

And of course, with that theory in mind, I swear that I'll never fall into such trap again. Because it's not a pleasant experience. First, you'll be shamed like nobody's business because of the misunderstanding that she would like a nerd like you and second, there's bound to be guys who gets the same fatal attraction by her and due to you being a nerd, there's no way for you to win them.

Besides, incidents like this often leads a trail of destruction. Like broken friendships, hatred and lots of cursing plus emo-ing in your free time. It never ends well. And since the incident, I reminded myself of the dangers of that bodily contact.

But I guess I did not stress it enough because history recently repeated itself again. The number of guys have gone down by one though, but everything else looks the same. There was the awkwardness and the shock and there's the nagging feeling of wanting to strangle your friend to death. And of course, in the center of everything, there's the girl. Not to mention the guys with the limited social circle of girls.

It's just like six years ago.

But then again, the me today is not entirely the me six years ago. Now that I step back and look at the big picture, I can't help but to find it funny to see how everything started and how everything is progressing. And how stupid I have been. But, honestly, when it comes to matters like this, no one could be really blamed. The me six years ago would have refused to talk to everyone involved but the me today doesn't really see any point.

Like what my friend from the six years used to said (the one that is still my good friend now), what is yours will eventually be yours and what is not yours will never be yours, no matter how hard you try. 

The best way? Widen your social circle, get to know new people and immerse yourself in activities you enjoy doing. Like coming up with a stupid theory to explain everything and writing a super long blog post to de-stress, even if you know the friends involved will eventually read it. But that doesn't mean I would not be a bitch though.

Being the anxious ambivalent plus avoidant guy I am (sorry, Psychology term here), flying solo after this incident also seems to be a probable choice too. I cannot deny that I am a little bit hurt and it would only makes sense to build a wall around the heart to protect it.

And I think I'm gonna name my theory the Lukey Touchy Theory.

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