Thursday, November 28, 2013

#E - Part 2

#E - Part 1

Dear diary,

Don't you just hate it how distractions seem to pop up from nowhere, disrupting your otherwise perfect plan? Not only do you have to deal with the new distraction, you still have to keep in mind to not let your original plan fall through either. You cannot help but to feel angry and pissed off, and that was exactly how I felt as I sat on the bed that morning. It was the morning after the founder's first night party, trying to piece the exact details of yesterday night together.

I glanced over at the girl who was sleeping soundly beside me. Her smooth skin glowed under the sunlight, and her lush black hair covered her shoulders. Her back was facing me, and I could see the curves of her figure right until her waist. My head was still throbbing from the amount of alcohol ingested yesterday night, and no matter how hard I tried, the best that I could manage was blurry snapshots of the event.

One of the snapshots involved the founder asking me to pick a girl that I liked from the crowd, as an incentive for what I was going to do tonight. The next snapshot contained an angry face of the founder, accusing me of not appreciating his hospitality in wanting to give me a companion. I must have relented, because in the following snapshot a girl was already sitting next to me at the table, with the founder toasting me to my choice. I remembered admiring the ponytail that hung from the back of the girl's head, the exact same style like how Amy used to tie hers once upon a time. In the final snapshot, a shoulder slung beneath my arms as I struggled to open my room's door. That was all that I could remember.

I brought my fingers to my head and slowly massaged my temple. The girl stirred beside me, and I wondered what would happen when she wakes up. It would certainly be awkward, and the last thing that I needed was a distraction. I left the bed and put on my clothes. They were laying all around the floor, and I felt embarrassed as I was collecting them.

I was halfway looking for my t-shirt when I spotted a pair of eyes staring at me. The girl was sitting on the bed, the blanket pulled up to her shoulders. She had dreamy eyes, and they eyed me innocently as we exchanged our gaze. Her right hand was on her chest, holding the blanket, and I remembered how fair it looked. There was not even a mark or blemish on it, and I could not stop myself from imagining how it must have felt to run my fingers across them. The drunk me certainly had good taste. She did not say anything as she sat there, waiting for me to say something.

I stood there for a while, unsure of what I should say. When I finally opened my mouth, the only word that came out was a pathetic hi, and not surprisingly, she continued to look quietly. When she was sure that I was not going to say anything else, she proceeded to pick up her clothes from the floor and brought it in to the toilet. The whole scene took place in silence, as she did not even bothered to look in my direction or to acknowledge my presence. All I could do was to stand there like an awkward duck.

The sound of knocking on door saved me from the any further embarrassment, and  I quickly dashed to open the door, only to find the founder there. He was dressed weirdly as usual, sporting his signature smile. He asked if I have enjoyed the previous night, and if I was ready for the big event tonight, and also tomorrow. I joked and said that aside from the hangover that I was feeling, I was more than ready. He gave a big and long laugh after the sentence, and patted me on my shoulder. He mentioned about how he has big plans for me, and slid me a sealed envelope that he took out from the bag he was carrying.

"For tomorrow," he winked. I held the envelop in my arms and tried to guess what was inside it. It felt heavy in my hands and from the bulge of it, I guessed that it was a gun. I ran my fingers over the surface of the envelop, and felt the rough texture of the gun beneath it. It was my first time coming so close to a live gun, with my closest experience being an air rifle.

"Glock," said the founder as he pointed to the envelope, and asked whether I had fired a gun before. I lied and said yes, adding that I had done so before in the army, which was entirely false. He smiled and nodded,  and I was glad he did not press the matter further. Or else he must have known that I was lying. Before he left, he asked me to enjoy myself for the remainder of the day, and to be prepared for the big events in place. I assured him that I will, and pushed the paper that I took on my way out back to him.

"I've memorized it," I said with a grin. It was the script for tonight that he had prepared. He looked at the paper, clearly satisfied, and smiled again. Good, he exclaimed, and walked away, down the corridor with white walls. I gave a sigh before closing the door, a part of me still dreading on what was in store for me.

When I returned to my room, the girl from yesterday night was already up. She had apparently eavesdropped on my conversation with the founder. She was dressed in a the black dress that she wore yesterday, this time without the jewellery that accompanied it. I wondered if the founder made it compulsory for his constituents to dress up for yesterday night's event. The same pair of dreamy eyes glanced across me as I walked in, eventually settling on the envelope I was carrying.

"So did you have fun with me yesterday night?" she asked, referring to the founder's first question when he saw me. Just when I thought that the situation could not get any more awkward that the silence just now. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable with how she was looking, and I put down the envelope on the dressing table, before proceeding to reply her. The bed felt soft as always as I sat next to her, and she made no attempt to avoid me. From the way she reacted to me, something told me that this girl has given up hope on life deep within her.

"No," I replied, as I struggled to find the correct words to say next. Her face had an accusing look to them, and I stuttered hesitantly as I attempted to explain that things were not how they seem, and she should not assume that I was like the founder. The excuse sounded lame to me too, but it was just the way it is. I went further to say that I was forced to do so, and I did not have a choice.

"Just like how my fiancé did not have a choice when they beat him to death?" she interrupted. Tears were beginning to build up in her eyes now, and I was at a loss for words. I wanted to say something, anything, to alleviate the situation, but it was hard to argue against her tone. It felt like a giant boulder of blame was crushing me from above, as I shuffled uncomfortably in my position.

There were three of them, she went on, her eyes never leaving mine. They were glistening with tears now, and her cheeks began to turn red. She, her sister and her fiancé survived the initial outbreak by shuttering themselves in her parents' 7-11 store. Her parents had gone out for a while when the zeds began to swarm the streets that they were at. Her fiancé had no choice but to lock the shop, and they stayed there for days.

When they finally ventured out, the world that they had known previously has ceased to exist, and they wandered in search of their parents and a safe
zone to avoid the zeds threat. When they found a badly erected board with a message urging them to go to the Sembawang naval base, they were overjoyed, and proceeded to follow it without thinking much. They hoped to find their parents there, and to find a safer place for her younger sister too.

In all honesty, their initial experience with the community was far from bad. They were introduced to the founder, and he welcomed them with open arms. When told the terms by the founder, they accepted it without question, because security was their most important need above all else. Her fiancé started work as a farmer immediately in order to earn their place in the community.

Things seemed to be going well at first, but alas, they did not last. Alicia's beauty, a source of jealousy for many before the outbreak, turned out to be her greatest curse after the outbreak too. Men from the inner circle began to fancy her and before long, the founder decreed that she should be sent to accompany the inner circle. Of course, both of them knew that it would be more than just 'accompaniment', and her fiancé would take none of it. Despite how much she implored him to not do anything, he ran off to the founder and demanded for an explanation. If not, then they should be let go from the camp. Instead of listening to her fiancé, the founder decided that he should be "let go from life", and ordered him to be beaten to death. The same night that they killed her fiancé, the founder sent two men to kidnap her. She was taken to the men who had fancied her, and she was raped by each of them.

I was but a guy in a long line of men who had lusted over her, she said with a sarcastic chuckle. If it was not for her sister, she would have taken her life long ago. There was really no use living anyway when your sole purpose in life is to be used by others. But she cannot, as she still had someone to protect. We sat in silence as the room was filled only with the sound of her sniffing, and as I looked at her, with her drop dead gorgeous body and innocent face, I would have never guessed that there was so much pain hidden underneath. I ran my fingers over my hair as I thought of what to say, and in the end, I went with the simplest answer that I could muster.

I told her that no matter what I said to her then, it would not make any difference as she will never believe me, so I was not going to say anything instead. What I could promise her however, was that I would try my best to take her and her sister away from this sorry excuse of a place. All she needed to do was to wait until tonight, Her expression towards me did not change, however, and in her silence, I felt that she was hinting to me that I was not the first to have given her such a promise. I was determined to prove her wrong. But first, I have fulfill another promise that I have made to myself.


*****

P/s: As this is a work in progress and as I am trying to finish the story before November ends and not forgetting that I have work from 9-6 everyday, there might be grammar errors here and there and if you spot one, I would sincerely apologize for it. I am looking to publish this story, so if you spot any spelling or grammar mistakes, I would greatly appreciate it if you could let me know by dropping a comment after each post. Proofreading your own work is confusing after all. I won't forget your kindness!






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