I had a troubled childhood. I was taken away at a young age from my home by people wearing scary masks and I've never known the comfort that what others call love when I was growing up. All I ever know was the the friendship of the other children who share the same story as me, also taken away from loving homes for purposes which only these scary masked people know.
It all changed one day when several brave knights, led by one noble man whom I will never forget, Zeras Hyperion, broke into the place where we were held hostages and defeated those scary people. It was like the start of a new chapter in my life, I got inducted into the academy and swore an oath to protect Rune Midgard so that the other children wouldn't have to undergo the same horrible experience that I did. While my friends opted for professions that spell of glory and strength, I chose instead to take the path less traveled by inducting to be a priest instead, realizing how important it is to support my fellow comrades in times of need.
|keeping the party alive, that's me|
A lot has happened since the first betrayal in the academy. I have helped defeat various forces that threatened the stability of the Rune Midgard kingdom, from the Sea God Leviathan to the elder Gedenhard something who were performing hideous experiments on travelers to learning the painful betrayal of one of the mentors that I respected most, Eremes Guile, my journey through the kingdom has taught me much and conflicted as it might be, I am still very glad to be called one of the protectors of Rune Midgard.
|whacking huge ass bosses: all in a day's work|
However, like many things in life, there will come a time when one eventually grows tired of one thing and decides that it is time to move on with life. That time for me is today.
Like thousands of others in the world, I have reached the maximum level in the world, already accomplished what I've set out to accomplish when I swore the oath of Odin and I'm beginning to find that it is already beginning to feel like a routine every time I log in to the game. In a nutshell, life after Level 50 revolves around few things: hourly dungeon runs to get old blue boxes, daily PVP matches to collect points for that set of legendary equipment and raids that happen every three days so you could have a shot at that epic set of items. It's like office work, except that you don't get paid on a fixed basis and you have to pretty much pray to Lady Luck to be kind to you.
|10 people raids that you must do every three days|
In essence, RO2 after Level 50 as of now can be summed up pretty much in a checklist. Hourly dungeons, daily PVP arenas, tri-daily raids and quests that are all set around a fixed period of time. It's like ticking off the checklist one by one everyday when you log in. And if you miss an event, it's like missing something important where you could have a chance to gain something, perhaps that piece of equipment that you always wanted. It's how most MMOs work to keep players coming back again and again, day after day.
The concept is pretty much like gambling though or what psychology would call a variable ratio of reinforcement, where the rewards is given randomly based on the number of attempts. Just like a slot machine, if you will. Because the probability of hitting the jackpot is always the same, the number of tries needed to hit the jackpot varies for everyone, some might hit it on the first try, others after 10 tries but because we don't know when we will hit the jackpot, we keep pulling the lever (and inserting our money in) thinking that "Perhaps this time will be my lucky time" every time we try. Which is the typical gambler's mentality and also the sort of technique they use on item drops in game. It is vastly different from a fixed reward that follows a fixed ratio, for example if you pull the lever 10 times you will hit the jackpot, as there is an element of chance in it and humans are known to be suckers when it involves chances.
So after one week of trying almost everyday and hoping that that day would be my lucky day, I have decided that perhaps enough is enough. If one were to seriously look at it, fundamentally it is very similar to an addiction to gambling once you get caught in that vicious cycle and I think it is just not worth spending all the time and effort just to get that one piece of equipment so I can be like the best priest in the kingdom of Rune Midgard. I mean, for what? Sure there might be some amount of recognition or what, but the recognition rarely stays with you after you log off. It's a vicious cycle, that I can say.
One way or another, I find it amusing how our mind can be easily tricked into feeling superior and self worthy in a way. No matter in a computer game or in a real life setting like sports for example, as long as our mind can be induced to feel that it is superior or better than others in a way, we will naturally stick to that thing like a glue because at the end of the day, feeling validated is all we humans are looking for in life, through whatever individual means that we have (speaking of this, this feels like a very interesting topic that I can take on. could someone remind me to write about this someday?). But an online MMO is certainly not the place I should seek self worth from right now. Maybe when I'm older with nothing to do and confined only to my house but as for now, I have decided to put a stop to my RO2 adventures and continue on other pursuits in life for now.
I'm sorry, Saintess Ione, although your differently coloured eyes are hot, I'm afraid that this priest has to leave the duty of saving you in the hands of the rest of the players and take his leave.
Nevertheless, it has been an exciting journey in RO2. Telling lame jokes with my guild people, acting all noble and stuff as a healer, it was fun. It's just sad that it's interfering with too many things in my life. Maybe next time.