It's been a while since last I ranted and bitched in my blog. I try not to, since in other people's word, my blog is too public anyway (I have to get that diary soon) for personal rants so anything that I put on it may have some detrimental consequences. But then again, when I look at the blogs of other famous bloggers and when it comes to their personal beliefs, they often don't give a fuck about being loud about their beliefs. They're are not afraid of stating their opinion to the world to see and even it may piss people off, they are willing to stand firm by it.
Perhaps it is this kind of fearless attitude that makes them famous, that inspire people to like and follow them. After all, if you're constantly living to please other people, you can't really get anywhere in life. So yeah, I think I'm just gonna rant like they do in this post. Besides, I also need a really good excuse to get all this stuff out from my system before it starts to get toxic.
Of introvertism, if such word exist...
Today was a good day for my introvert side. In just one day, I read two great articles about the benefits of being introverts and that society should learn to value introverts more and appreciate them. Which is like a great relief to me because all along, I've been taught to think that to succeed in this world, you need to be someone who is loud, loves to socialize and talk to whoever you want without much of a problem. After all, if you're someone who prefers to spend time along rather than with tons of people at a party, you will be attached with all sort of negative labels like weird, loner and anti-social. Our world just seems to prize extroversion more. Even psychological studies have found extroverts to be more happy than introverts.
Which is kinda sad for me, because I never liked to socialize. I find no pleasure in exchanging fake pleasantries and being someone whom I'm not just to fit in. Sometimes it's just torturing. But thinking that it's the only way to succeed in life, I sometimes try to be talkative and engaging, which often fails miserably, because well, it's just not me.
Reading those two article really gave me a breath of relief, so to say. A closest analogy that I can think of is how a homosexual person is finally accepted into society for being who he/she is. Which is the kind of feeling that I got because after "It's not normal to be introvert" thinking for so long, finally there's people who say that "it's okay to be introvert". It's like being able to be who I am really am at last. Perhaps I can even make it as my final thesis to counter the mainstream pro-extrovert thinking.
For the past few days I've been ranting heavily about friends in Twitter. Which then prompted a lot of friends to ask me what was going wrong and whether I would want to share about it. A friend even shared with me two blog posts which he wrote years ago, which I find it to be very interesting and quite similar to what I have in mind.
You see, while the dictionaries have a standard definition of friends and friendships, the truth is that each and everyone of us have our own interpretations of what friends mean. For some, friends is nothing but tools to help us get what we want in life, perhaps something physical, such as money or perhaps something psychological, like for companionship or comfort. Whereas for others, friends mean more than that, something that could not be measured, something that is perhaps worth dying for, something that includes unconditional acceptance and love.
And when there's so many definitions of friends going around, things are bound to get problematic. Because when my definition and your definition of friends don't match up, conflicts are bound to happen. Each of us will come in expecting different things and when what we get did not match up with what we expected, we're bound to get disappointed, and maybe give up the friendship for another one which will better suit our expectancies.
One thing that I have definitely learn from this past few days is well, when it comes to friendship, everyone measures. Almost all of human relationships are built on the premise of social exchange, as in what will you receive in comparison to what can you give. It's part of our human nature. No one enters into a friendship, acquaintanceship or relationship thinking that "I will try and give the best that I can without hoping for anything in return". The first consideration that will cross the mind of almost all of us would be, "What can I gain from this?". Be it self validation, fame, comfort, physical needs or emotional support, each of us have a reason.
We measure and we compare. And that's the ugly truth
Seize the day. One of the most popular quotes ever. It urges you to not think twice when an opportunity passes you by and just grab it. Because after all, if you miss your chance, there's a high probability that you're not getting it back.
There's a poster sitting in my mailbox now. One that epitomes the "Seize the day" quote perfectly. It's urging for people to take up student leaders position, and looking at it, I would really want to. I have visions and plans of what I want to do should I get the position and already I'm thinking of the stuff I can implement to make things better. A part of me is itching to have a go at it.
But then again, when I think back to the times that I've seized the opportunity and be a leader during my three years here, not all of them went smoothly. What if the history repeats itself again? In which I have grand visions but after a while my flame and passion just sort of petered out in the avalanche of schoolwork, blogging and other commitments.
Besides, the whole thing about asking for nominations is just well... not suitable for people who is not very likable, like me. Because ultimately things here are done in a nepotism way where your positions and awards are determined by who you know and how many people you know. Besides, people tend to equate being extroverted with being a good leader, which is not good for me because I just decided to remain as an introvert.
I think I'll just stick to blog ranting