Sunday, November 20, 2011

How To Be Famous In Singapore

Yosh! Good day. This is Lukey here, yours truly not-so-famous blogger, bringing you your daily dose of handsomeness through his daily blog posts. Actually I'm just looking for a reason to delay revising for my exams as long as possible, textbooks are so boring anyway, and blogging seems like a good excuse after that long Bleach movie with my buddies.

Bleach Movie 4: The Hell Verse, a must watch! One of the best Bleach movies I ever watched

Speaking of famous, for the past few days I've been roaming through the internet, particularly through Twitter, forums and even Stomp in between my attempts of studying and I noticed quite a trend in Singapore. It seems that a lot of us wants to be famous over here, me included, and that got me thinking about this whole fame thing.
 
You see, it's not easy to be famous in a place like Singapore. One of the reason is that the amount of the people who wants to be famous is directly disproportionate to the entire population. While we have a lot of people wanting fame, we have only so little people paying attention. If everyone is famous, then who would be the fans? Tough right?

 But then again, it's not a lost cause for you fame seekers out there. In today's Singapore, where everything is so connected, all you need is one right action and you're well on your road to fame. And from what I noticed from my few days of roaming, there's quite a few things that you can do which will instantly propel you to fame. Being famous is now made easier using Lukey's Guide to Fame.

They even have a book for this

Among the things that you can do to be famous in Singapore includes:

1. Sing horribly. Yes, horribly. The more horrible, the better. Pick any latest issue or song to sing about to improve your SEO. While singing perfectly can also get you the same result, horrible singing is much easier to do. And while you're at it, make a terrible music video to accompany it. Wear yellow underwear if possible.

2. Star in your own sex scandal video

3. Slap your mother, grandmother, father, great grand uncle etc etc and post it online. Insert a few vulgarities at the same time.

4. Jump into Bedok Reservoir. Wait, that wouldn't be right if you're famous after you died

5. Go for plastic surgery. As many as you can. Change your nose, enlarge your boobs (not applicable for guys), dye your hair into some outrageous color and blog about how proud you are. Alternatively, you can also deny that you went for any plastic surgery. Works both ways

6. Do a fake sexual act (eg: blowjob) video. Say it's to educate the younger generation to not engage in activities such like this.

7. Dress like a bear and go search rubbish bins at 6am in the morning. Rubbish bins must be near places where a lot of people go like the bus stop

8. Take a picture of anything prohibited and upload it to Twitter. It can be a picture of your exam paper, a picture of your teacher digging his nose or a picture of you breaking the law, like smoking under a no smoking sign. After uploading the picture to Twitter, brag about it

9. Again, use a yellow underwear. Appear on public TV shows like Singapore Idol

10. Or you can use your maid to help you too. Just ask her to do something embarrassing like carry your army bag or line up at H&M for you. Even better, you can ask her to do a fake blowjob video for you too! .....Okay, maybe not.

 And what you have just seen is Lukey's guide to being famous, the 10 quickest way! Of course, to make it more effective, you'll need a friend of yours who is also a STOMPer to post whatever you have just done in STOMP. That way, you have the entire island talking about you in no time.

And you're finally famous!

You can thank me after that.

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