I have a major exam in less than 24 hours time. One that requires you to have 270 pages worth of facts, terms and experiments imprinted unto your mind. And it had to be at 8am, a time when most of us students are still busy drooling on our bed (the lecturer has the guts to have 2 such major exams), not to mention for some strange reason he decided to have an open book exam. To make matters worse, I have 2 unfinished chapters of reading. The stress almost makes me want to jump off the building than to handle the uncertainty and panic of flipping open a test paper. 3 essays, 1 hour. FML max.
Never mind, never mind. I have faced tougher situations before and lived to tell the day. Besides, I have already came up with quite some plans to help me score for tomorrows test.
1. Steal Hermione's time turner, go to the test, look at the question and start turning. That way, I would know what question is coming out and have enough time to prepare for it. No need to undergo so much pain to memorize 270 pages of stuff that I wouldn't be using once I graduated anyway.
|Situations it will be used: Prevent a poor student from flunking his exams|
2. Travel to an alternate universe where I am actually a really genius student, kidnap him, bring him to my universe, make him take my exam and then return him to his universe. I just hope finding an alternate universe where I'm actually smart wouldn't be that hard though. Of course, he must also be stupid enough to let me kidnap him.
3. Kidnap the professor and use mind control on him to make him delay the test until the week after recess week. Alternatively I also can put a lot of laxatives in his drink and make him shit til he cannot come to school. I may need the invisibility cloak for this though.
4. Borrow the bread used by Nobita to stuff facts into his brain. Judging from the 270 pages I have, I think I'll shit bread for the rest of the week. Wait, make that months. And is there a word for fear of eating bread?
5. Stop blogging and start reading
6. Kill myself
7. Invent a machine that allows me to read what people are thinking. That way I can read people's thoughts about the answer. I just need to sit beside the smartest person in the class.
8. Travel back in time and kill the bastard who invented exams. Do humanity a favor at the same time.
Pretend that I am sick / Some distant relatives died / Traffic jam in the elevator / My lizard ate my homework / I got abducted by aliens I STILL HAVE TO TAKE THE EXAM
10. Make myself belief that an F isn't such a bad thing after all. I mean, the most used word in our history does start with an F. I should be proud. And I meant Facebook.
Man, do I hate Cognitive Psychology. That Chua Fook Kee (Yes, his name alone makes you wanna go F**K!) really had done me in. CFK my life.