Six and awake, not good
Six in the morning. While most people that i know are busy enjoying the dreamland now, i on the other hand, happen to be staring blankly at the screen of my computer, contemplating a thousand thoughts that i can't seem to get out from my head.
There are the really mundane things like what to put into my presentation, am i able to finish my readings on time to hall responsibilities like am i doing my job right, why i'm such a failed leader to the bigger questions of life like why am i constantly looking for acceptance, why i can't just be myself and be happy with it and why do i care so much about someone who don't even seem to know that i exist.
Depressing, yes, but when you're up and awake in such a weird hour, it's not surprising that you'll begin to have weird thoughts too.
But i guess pondering about all these stuff will not get me anywhere at all. Spending a whole day thinking of what you'll do if you have a girlfriend is not going to get you one. And neither does wallowing in self pity is gonna make people take pity on you. It's a cruel world we live in, determined by one single game rule, "Survival of the fittest".
I guess i should be sleeping then. At least in my sleep, the world doesn't seem to be so depressing. But with the current state my brain is in, constantly churning out useless thoughts, i think i'll be needing some help.
Anyone has a hammer? Or a baseball bat?
That would a good way to get me to sleep ASAP.