Saturday, June 5, 2010

An Emo Post

It's been awhile since i last wrote about an emo post, since emo posts don't do well in blogs, but well, i can't lie to myself and say that i'm happy or anything. Today sucks big time. 
Maybe it's because i woke up on the wrong side of bed.

My internet connection is giving me all sort of trouble, someone important is now angry with me and i'm being left alone in the room. Not to mention that my stomach is demanding to be fed. Sometimes i really do not how i could manage without religion. Even though all of it could be lies, it's still nice to believe that someone up there does care for you. Plus it's that thought alone that keeps you from jumping from a building.

No matter how much i try to believe the saying that every single individual on this planet is unique, i sometimes still can't resist from hating myself. I hate the fact that i'm such an introvert, always nervous about what others think of me, not daring to speak up and not being as sociable as my friends. I hate myself as i do not possess many good qualities as many my friends do. If we were all to be stuck on a boat, i will be the first voted to be thrown off the boat because i have nothing to give to to humanity.

I try and try to tell myself to steel myself and press on, but it can be just so hard sometimes. When your friends go out and do not call you, weird thoughts will come to your mind. I'm so tired of trying to please everyone. I'm so tired of trying to fit into this world. Is there a place where i will be appreciated just by being myself?

Sigh. Looks like i'm officially depressed now.

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