Thursday, April 29, 2010

Ways to Like Your Examination!

I hate exams.
I hate i hate and i hate exams.

I know the hating exams part is hardly original (it probably existed since the birth of exams) and there are kazillion blog entries about hating exams in the kazillion blogs out there. Probably the only thing that i share in common with all those bloggers out there is the unstoppable desire to tear the fellow who invented exams into pieces. Or maybe make him sit for exams eternally. Something like the hell concept where offenders are are repeatedly punished with the acts that they have done in real life. 
(Bill Gates will have to endure repeated Windows crashing i guess)

Making the inventor of exams endure his creation again and again and again and again and again...

Alright, that might be too cruel. That poor dude was probably trying to invent a system based on equality of opportunity and didn't know it'll end up as some sort of child torturing tool. So i think i'll just let him off.

Besides, like it or not, examinations are here to stay. Judging by our society today, i don't anticipate it to disappear any time soon too. So which brings us to my next important point, how to deal with examinations! Like the old saying that goes, "If you can't beat them, join them!"

So on this special edition Lukey's Ranting blog post, Professor Lukey will teach you the way to deal, like and cope with your exams! Please pay attention!


Ways To Overcome Examination Fear and Phobia and actually like it!

1. Keep repeating the words, "I Like Going For Examinations" for consecutively for 2 hours each day for the rest of your schooling period. This method works on a concept called self visualization that allows you to partially dupe yourself into believing that you actually like examinations!

2. Treat exams as a way to earn extra pocket money! Strike a deal with your parents saying that for every A you get in exams, your parents will give you 100 dollars. And the deal could also be extended to include more family members. There more family members you could persuade to sign the deal with you, the money money you'll earn!

3. Poor at sports? Suck at singing? No handsome genes? Fear not! Viewing exams as your only way to gain popularity and to finally ace that pretty girl will make you like exams instantly! 
(Caution: Only works for nerds/geeks/ah piaos)

4. Kidnap Doraemon from Nobita and steal the bread looking device that allows you to literally "eat" your book! Beware of over-bloating though.

Unfortunately, this professor has only 4 workable ways for someone to like examinations. Of course, the best way to make someone not hate exams would be to study and prepare for the exams but if you're already studied and prepared for it, you wouldn't be looking for a guide not to hate examinations. So i'll hope you enjoy using these 4 techniques in the never ending quest to combat examination fears and all the best!

Caution: The above methods to like examinations are purely fictional and nonsensical. It is not supported by any relevant scientific theories or statistics. The guide should only be used if options like studying is way out of the window

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