Give and Take lah

Just what is friendship?
There are probably infinite ways to define friendship, some of it which we may never come to understand even in our whole life.  As for me, friendship is like the proverb "it takes two to tango".

I used to think that friendship is a one way matter.  I thought that i was the "important" one.  And when there is minor conflicts, i would easily get annoyed.  I wanted to be the center of attention in my circle of friends.  For example thinking that my friends do not care about me when they forgot to call me out for an outing without really understanding why.  Sometimes, i even throw "tantrums" to garner attention.  Like the Chinese idiom goes, i was the "small gas" fellow.

As you would have guessed it, friends started to drift from me slowly.  And i was still with my egoistic mind, thinking that if they do not want to be my friends, it was their problem, not mine.

If it was not for one of my seniors in church, i think i would pretty much friend-less now.
She pulled me aside one day in church and practically unleashed her machine gun on me.  She said that by my actions and "tantrums", i was being selfish to my friends.  I was merely thinking from my point of view without really taking into account the reasons my friends might have for forgetting me.

Is it because that i was busy?  Is it because they are doing some activity that i did not join before because i said last time that i do not like it?  Maybe it is me who did not take the initiative to ask?  Or is it plainly that they forgot because they are human too?

Either way, if i choose to be angry without first understanding why, i am also at fault.  Because i doubted my friends.  No matter what, i believe that friendship is a compromise.  If you want your friends to treat you in a certain way, you sometimes have to take the first step too.  You cannot expect your friends to think of you all the time right?  You have your life and they have theirs too.

Yeah, thanks to my senior, i try not to mind so much when i have to go the extra mile in the friendship.  Be it notifying my friends about an upcoming activity and even going for some activities that i thought i wouldn't like it with them.  Because i learned that what matter most if not what the activities that you do, but who is with you.  As a result, i'm now jogging, going library to study and even taking a biology class.

Like my friend said, "give and take lah".


  1. nice post.. so i take it you don't like biology and jogging eh! =P fiine..


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