Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I'm Sorry

I'm pretty moody right now. The fact that i do not even know why am i moody makes matter worse. I should be happy, considering something that can be considered good happened today but i can't.

You see, i suck at relationships. I could never treasure people that really do care about me but instead most of the time i want something that can never be mine in the first place while ignoring what good things i already have.
"The grass is always greener on the other side", like the saying goes.

**

I told her the truth today about why we broke up after so long and sad to say, it was not something that would make her entirely happy. She even said that i am mean. Well, i'm not just mean, but i'm also a coward too.

Just because i have no guts to face or to admit my own feelings, but instead choose to ignore it, i have hurt someone that should not have been hurt in the first place. Yeah, i know that i'm no gentleman and i would not make excuses to cover up it either.

I just want to apologize for all the hurt that i caused just because i am a coward. I'm sorry.

**

And even after admitting my own mistake, things did not turn out better because the truth is not pretty either. Sometime life can just be so dang complicated.

I wished i could write more but because this is not my personal journal and because i do not have a personal journal, i am pouring out here albeit a little bit too short on the details as i will explode if i cannot get to divert it somewhere.
**

On the plus side, i received an offer from NUS (National University of Singapore) today for the course of Arts and Social Science. It's not a scholarship, just an offer, but i'm more than happy to receive it as i did not expect to be given a place.

I'm still blur, however, about all these university thingy and if you guys have any advice, i would love to hear about it. Especially if you are in NUS now. I could really use some help.
I'm pretty sure that i'm going already, as maybe heading into a new place might give the fresh start that i seriously need.

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